Sunday, October 28, 2007

cup of coffee with F.R.I.E.N.D.

A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.



They agreed that it was.


The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

"The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things
that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

"The sand is everything else--the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first,


" he continued,


"there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

"The same goes for life. "If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Play with your children.

"Take time to get medical checkups.

"Take your partner out to dinner.

"Play another 18.

"There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.

"Set your priorities.

"The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

"It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend."

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Just check if r u in love????????

12 signs you LOVE someone,

TWELVE:

When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago.

ELEVEN:

You walk really slowly when you're with them.

TEN:

You feel shy whenever they're around.

NINE:

You smile when you hear their voice.

EIGHT:

When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/her.

SIX:

They're all you think about.

FIVE:

You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them.

FOUR:

You would do anything for them, just to see them.

THREE:

While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time.

TWO:

You were so busy thinking about that person, you didn't notice number seven was missing

ONE:

You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself

Smile a lot. It increases your face value

Monday, October 15, 2007

When the school reopened in June,

When the school reopened in June,

And we settled in our new desks and benches .



When we queued up in book depot,

And got our new books and notes.


When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet

Managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.


We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and

Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then
micro tips.


We began drawing with crayons and evolved to

Colour pencils and finally sketch pens.

We started calculating first with tables and then with

Clarke's tables and advanced to calculators and
computers.


When we chased one another in the corridors in

Intervals, and returned to the classrooms drenched in
sweat.


When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,

Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds.


When all the colors in the world,

Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays.


When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,

Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons.



When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,

And Neckties and socks rolled into balls.



When few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching
sun,

While others simply played "book cricket" in the
Confines of classroom.



Of fights but no conspiracies,



Of Competitions but seldom jealousy.



When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,

In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks.



When few rushed at 1:45 to "Conquer" window seats in
our School bus.

While few others had "Big Fun", "Chock-o-bar","kulfi
ice" and "pepsi
!" at 2:00 Clock.

Gone are the days Of Sports Day, and the annual
School Day ,

And the one-month long preparations for them.


Gone are the days Of the stressful Quarterly,

Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most enjoyed
holidays after
them.



Of tenth and twelfth standards, when we Spent almost
the whole year
writing revision tests.

We learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost,

We laughed, we cried, we fought, we thought.

With so much fun in them, so many friends,

So much experience , all this and more.


Gone are the days when we used to talk for hours with

our friends.

Now we don't have time to say a HI.


Gone are the days when we played games on the road.

Now we code on th! e road with laptop.

Gone are the days when we saw stars shining at night.

Now we see stars when our code doesn't work.



Gone are the days when we sat to chat with friends on

grounds.

Now we chat in chat rooms.....



Gone are the days where we studied just to pass.!
Now we study to save our job



Gone are the days where we had no money in our
pockets

and fun filled on

our hearts

Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with
an

empty heart



Gone are the days where we shouted on the road.

Now we dont shout even at home



Gone are the days where we got lectures from all.

Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing

now....







Gone are the days



But not the memories, which will be



Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and



Ever and ever and Ever .....







NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE ,







DONT FORGET TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL EXISTS.







IT WONT BE THERE FOR EVER.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

friendship




खुशी भी
दोस्तो से है,
गम भी दोस्तो
से है,

तकरार भी
दोस्तो से है,
प्यार भी
दोस्तो से है,

रुठना भी
दोस्तो से है,
मनाना भी
दोस्तो से है,

बात भी
दोस्तो से है,
मिसाल भी
दोस्तो से है,

नशा भी
दोस्तो से है,
शाम भी
दोस्तो से है,

जिन्दगी की
शुरुआत भी
दोस्तो से है,
जिन्दगी मे
मुलाकात भी
दोस्तो से है,

मौहब्बत भी
दोस्तो से है,
इनायत भी
दोस्तो से है,

काम भी
दोस्तो से है,
नाम भी
दोस्तो से है,

ख्याल भी
दोस्तो से है,
अरमान भी
दोस्तो से है,

ख्वाब भी
दोस्तो से है,
माहौल भी
दोस्तो से है,

यादे भी
दोस्तो से है,
मुलाकाते भी
दोस्तो से है,

सपने भी
दोस्तो से है,
अपने भी
दोस्तो से है,

या यूं कहो
यारो,
अपनी तो
दुनिया ही
दोस्तो से


HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some
Particular order in a closed
Room with an
Open window.








Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.







Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.










If they are counting the
Bricks.
Put them in the accounts
Department.











If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing .
















If they have messed up the
Whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.














If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.











If they are throwing the
Bricks at each other.
Put them in operations ..
















If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.
















If they have broken the bricks
Into pieces.
Put them in information
Technology.












If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.











If they say they have tried
Different combinations, yet
Not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.
















If they have already left for
The day.
Put them in marketing.












If they are staring out of the
Window.
Put them on strategic
Planning.











And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
Other and not a single brick
Has been
Moved.

Congratulate them and put them
In top management.



 

Joke about Visa

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more
Than 1 kg of meat a day.
The lion thought its prayers were answered. When one day a Dubai ….Sa… Zoo Manager
Visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to Dubai….Sa…
Zoo. The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/C
environment, a goat or two every day.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very
Nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see
That it contained few bananas. The lion thought that maybe they cared too
Much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently
Shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food
Bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious; it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him,
Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your
Management? What nonsense is this? Why are you delivering bananas to me?
The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle
... But... you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!! '

This is great..... u will love it.....

Rohit wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!" So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, Rohit asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "Lady leave me alone! I'm married!"

Moral

Self-induced hangover -- Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture -- Rs. 20,000.00
Breakfast -- Rs. 100.00

Saying The Right Thing While Drunk
- PRICELESS
{There are some things that money can't buy (",)}

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......
FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK : ( and you would find out the
same ..
!!!! )


1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Ri ght click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'."


----------------------------------------

2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting
the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


--------------------------------------------------

3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it
says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery
disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

--------------------------------------------------

4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

--------------------------------------------------

5) Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
canyou see
the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***

--------------------------------------------------

6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####

--------------------------------------------------

7) Tech Support : "What operating system are you runnin g?"
Customer : "Pentium."

Tech support : ////-----+++
--------------------------------------------------

8) Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal
abortion."
Tech support : ??????

--------------------------------------------------

9) Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------

10) Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????

--------------------------------------------------

11) Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."


Tech Support : "What does it say?"

Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy
inside?"

Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel
inside."

Tech support : @@@@@
--------------------------------------------------


12) Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24
hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

--------------------------------------------------

13) Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"

Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support : "Well?"

Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech support : *** ---- ++++
--------------------------------------------------

The best of the lot

14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
his
computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the
startup
and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
command.

Tech support::

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The
tech is
frustrated and fed up.


Tech support::(hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but
there is
an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the
CONFIG.SYS.
Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't
come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the
file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.


User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said,
and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with
NOSMOKE.

-------------------------------------------------


Height Of it all (Too Good)

15) Customer : I need a product identification number right now

Customer Care Officer : and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust : sure !!!!

CCO : could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your
computer?

Monday, October 8, 2007

Zindagi Hai Choti, Har Pal Mein Khush Raho !

Wonderful thought..............




Zindagi hai choti, har pal mein khush raho...


Office me khush raho, ghar mein khush raho...

Aaj paneer nahi hai, dal mein hi khush raho...

Aaj gym jane ka samay nahi, do kadam chal ke hi khush raho...


Aaj Dosto ka sath nahi, TV dekh ke hi khush raho...

Ghar ja nahi sakte to phone kar ke hi khush raho...

Aaj koi naraaz hai, uske iss andaz mein bhi khush raho...

Jise dekh nahi sakte uski awaz mein hi khush raho...

Jise paa nahi sakte uski yaad mein hi khush raho


Laptop na mila to kya, Desktop mein hi khush raho...

Bita hua kal ja chuka hai, usse meethi yaadein hai, unme hi khush raho...




aane wale pal ka pata nahi... sapno mein hi khush raho...

Haste haste ye pal bitaenge, aaj mein hi khush raho

Zindagi hai choti, har pal mein khush raho




URs

T ogether E veryone can A chieve M iracles.....

20 20 the best...

In the post-match presentation, Ravi Shastri to Dhoni "Congratulations
to you
and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have
produced a
great nail baiting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share
the joy
with us."


Dhoni "Thanks Ravi, the match was pretty close encounter between two
great teams
and our guys held the nerve to win the game and cup."
Shastri, "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"
Dhoni, "All of us played well but I would say the main reason and man
behind
this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"
Shocked Shastri..., "Agarkar ? ? .. how come Agarkar... he didn't played
in the
final"..
Dhoni, "Yeaph.. that's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he
could
have bowled in final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from
his 4
overs...."
Shastri, "ok.. fine, To whom you want to thank for winning this
final..."
Dhoni, "The team doctor deserves the credit... he really helped us to
prepare
for the final..."
Shastri, "Is it? ?.... how the doctor helped to prepare for the final...
he is not the coach or physical trainer...Dhoni.. I am getting confused"
Dhoni, "Ravi... nothing to confuse... he has failed Sehwag in the
fitness test
according to our game plan and we managed to pick a good playing team..
thus we
weigh the doctor's contribution as very high...
infact its better than our team effort in the field.. our game tactic
worked
well"
Shastri, "To whom you want to dedicate this World Cup?"
Dhoni, "The entire team including myself wants to dedicate this cup to
Sachin,
Dravid and Ganguly..."
Shastri, "I really really appreciate you... its good that you have so
much
respect to the seniors....and you ...." Dhoni interrupts....
"Ravi.. let me complete... India would have exited in the Group matches
if they
decided to play in the series... thank god they opted out and we managed
to play
cricket and won the cup.."
Shastri, "The match was thrilling encounter and was concluded by a
single
mistake of Misbah.. Isn't it? "
Dhoni, "Yes you are right, after lofting the ball Misbah told me that he
has sen
t the ball to where there was no one....but he didn't know that there is
a
malayali in every corner of the world.... This single mistake has cost
the game
and won the cup..."
Shastri faints and Dhoni receives the CUP and thats the end of the great
Twenty-20 world cup...

Five Surgeons joke

Five Surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate on.

The first surgeon says: 'I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'

The second responds: 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.'

The third surgeon says: 'No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'

The fourth surgeon chimes in: 'You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.'

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: 'You 're all wrong.. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable !'

Murphy's Laws...

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.



To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.




The road to success??.. Is always under construction.





Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.





In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.





All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.





Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.





Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.





If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.





You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.





Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.





As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.





He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.





If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.





Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.





When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.





If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.





Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.





You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.





The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.





After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.





If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.





Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

SOFTWARE ENGINEER

There was a good old barber in Hyderabad. One day a

florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he

goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:

I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing

a Community Service.

Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his

shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses

waiting at his door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to

pay the barber he

again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is

happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his

shop, there is another

"Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his

door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also

goes to pay the barber

again refuses the money saying that it was a community

service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his

shop, guess what he finds

there......

Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . ....

..

(Believe me it's worth it!!!!!!!!!! )

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

..

...

...

A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free

haircut... with Printouts of the Forwarded mail

mentioning about free haircut.