Monday, November 19, 2007

WHY DO WOMEN WALK BEHIND..???

A reporter who did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan,
several years before the Afghan conflict noted then that women
customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.



She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still
walk behind their husbands.



She approached one of the Afghan women and asked:
" Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once
tried so desperately to change ? "



The woman looked her in the eyes and without hesitation, said:

" Landmines ! "

"The Husband will get it first"


Moral of the story : Behind every man is a damn smart woman !

Modern Panchtantra Story


Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of
a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river.

Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe ), he started praying to the River Goddess.



The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers.

The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.


As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty.

She showed him a match box and asked, " Is this your computer ?"

Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said " Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty.

She was about to give Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you’re supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid fool!!

The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!!”

So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

********

Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool ----

Than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

hospital fun....................

Oops!
Has anyone seen my watch?
That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that...uh... that uh.....thingy
If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Damn, there go the lights again...
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?
What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
What do you mean, he's not insured?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.
Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?
Of course I've performed this operation before, Nurse!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!


Birth Test

Let me know your number. Once you have discovered your Birth Number, forward this email to the rest of your friends, including the one who sent this to you. Put your "number" in the "Subject" and Pass it on! Have fun!

Your birth date describes who you are, what
u are good at and what y our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing. To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date together, like in the example, until there is only one digit.

A Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be; it will just color your choice differently and give you a little insight.


Example: March 20, 1950 3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973 = 1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20 = 2 + 0 = 2

2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in the example.



#1 THE ORIGINATOR

#2 THE PEACEMAKER

#3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

#4 THE CONSERVATIVE

#5 THE NONCONFORMIST

#6 THE ROMANTIC

#7 THE INTELLECTUAL

#8 THE BIG SHOT

#9 THE PERFORMER

===========================================================

# 1 - THE ORIGINATOR

1 's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn

some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded.

Famous 1's : Tom Hanks , Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch, Samuel L. Jackson


#2 - THE PEACEMAKER

2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.

Famous 2's : President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Orlando Bloom, David Beckham


# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it.

They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view.

Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster, LL Cool J

# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE

4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves.

Famous 4's : Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey


# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST

5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions.

Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh
, Bette Midler, Helen Keller, Mark Hamil, Colin Farrell, Scott Speedman


# 6 - THE ROMANTIC

6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot.

Famous 6's: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn, Salma Hayek


#7 - THE INTELLECTUAL

7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden infor mati on, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering infor mati on. They like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large.

Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Joan Baez
, Princess Diana, Johnny Depp, Shah Rukh Khan


# 8 - THE BIG SHOT

8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want.

Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus, Jack Davenport, Michelle Rodriguez


#9 - THE PERFORMER

9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation.


Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley, Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Old Age

Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she 
a widow, had known each other for a number of years.
 
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. 
The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal 
went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the
 
courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?"
 
After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she 
answered "Yes.  Yes, I will. "
 
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to 
Their respective places.
 
Next morning, he was troubled.  "Did she say 'yes' or did she 
say 'no'?"  He couldn't remember.  Try as he might, he just Could not 
recall.  Not even a faint memory.  With trepidation, he went to The 
telephone and called her.
 
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then
 
he reviewed the lovely evening past.  As he gained a little more 
courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you 
say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
 
He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will'  and 
I Meant it with all my heart. " Then she continued, "I am so glad that 
you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."

ULTIMATE

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked.

"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.

"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain."

"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories... So, don't forget to make time and take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

I hope you still take the time to run through the rain.

I never take risk while drinking

I never take risk while drinking

When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen .

I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard

Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame

But still no one is aware of it
Becoz I never take a risk ......

I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink

Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack

Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard

Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile

I peep into the kitchen

Wife is cutting potatoes

No one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I: Any news on chopra's daughter's marriage

Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out for her

I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard

But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle


I take out the glass from the old rack above sink

Quickly enjoy one peg

Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink

Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard

But still no one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I: But still I think chopra's daughter's age is not that much

Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse

I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...

I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard

But the cupboard's place has automatically changed

I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink

Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly

I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keepit in the black cupboard

Wife is keeping the sink on the stove

But still no one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I: (getting angry) you call Mr. chopra a horse? If you say that again, I will cut your tongue...!

Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...


I take out the bottle from the potatoes

Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg

Wash the sink and keep it over the rack

Wife is giving a smile

Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking

But still no one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I: (laughing) So chopra is marrying a horse!!

Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...

I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack

Stove is also on the rack

There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside

I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink

But none of the horses are aware of what I did

Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk

chopra is still cooking

And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing

Becoz I never take what???

CHEERS

WRONG NUMBER

Read the below story..........a very beautiful
one!!!!!!!!!!!

WRONG NUMBER

It was the day of my son's XII results and I was so
tensed. I sat beside him while he logged on the
website with his registration no. "Ma", he screamed in
excitement," I scored 1191, with centum in 4 subjects.
I cant believe it. " I kinda became numb in my
excitement. My eyes became wet. I kissed him on his
forehead and smiled.

Soon we realized that he stood first in the state. Oh,
my joy knew no bounds when Reporters and media persons
soon swamped my house for interviews and photos. I was
so honored to join him in the snaps.

I wanted to call my "wrong-number-friend to tell him
the news......I was so excited. He was someone whom I
have known for more than 20 years.

I still do not remember when we became friends, but
certainly cannot forget the first day he called me
when I blasted him for giving me so many wrong
calls.....after that he had called up a week later
asking apology, for he had now got the right no of his
friend whom he wanted to talk to .We spoke for an hour
that day...even without knowing each other's names.
Though he kept pestering me to reveal my name I never
did and so he kept a name...Sweety. I used to get so
shy whenever he called me 'Sweety'. I was doing first
year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a Computer
Engineering student.


From then he used to call me very often . We almost
discussed everything ..


By the final year of my college, we probably we were
in love, but I had been cautious. I was in a dilemma
whether to tell him. But what if he was of a different
religion? Do I have the courage to talk to my parents
about it? ........all these questions ran through my
mind.


I decided I'll not talk to him thereafter. When he
called next time I lied to him I that I was going to
Delhi for my post graduation. He gave me his office
number and asked me to ring him up once I reach there.
I never called .......

A couple of months later my marriage got fixed with a
guy of my parent's choice. I was not happy but I did
not complain; rather accepted it as an obedient
daughter. At times I felt I missed my wrong- number-
friend.......

My hubby was a moody person; I have hardly spent any
good time with him- but he was genuine indeed and
never bothered my personal space. After 2 years we had
a boy...Yet,I was not very happy with my married
life...One day I happened to browse through my diary
and found I still had my old friend's office phone no
that he had given me. I dialed it and spoke with him.
He said he was married and got a kid too. I was happy
for him though in the bottom of the heart I felt bad
that I could not marry him.

From then I used to occasionally call him on that
number. I never gave him mine as I felt that would put
me in trouble... And till today I almost shared
everything with him including my relationship with my
hubby.....today I was so happy and I wanted to call
him.


Just then I got a call. "Your husband met with an
accident and died on the spot"


I banged the phone down. I broke. I did not call my
friend.....I somehow started feeling guilty. I have
never tried to talk to him properly when he was alive
or moved close with him.... I felt I had been a bad
wife........


A couple of years passed and one day my son brought
home a Bengali girl and said they wanted to get
married. I got them married as I did not want my son
to go through what I did.


I decided to give my son his father's room and started
clearing it. There was a phone book. I gently opened
it to find, " Wrong no Sweety -26579785"


God always puts the right numbers together. Its we who
interpret it wrong!!!

How we treat people

Five (5) lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.



1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.


During my second month of college, our professor
Gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student
and had breezed through the questions until I read
the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question
blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers,
you will meet many people. All are significant. They
deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her
name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain


One night, at11:30 p.m., an older African American
woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway
trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had
broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally
unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man
took her to safety, helped her get assistance, and
put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his
address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a
knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A
special note was attached..

It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
the other night. The rain drenched not only my
clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
husband's bedside just before he passed away... God
bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving
others."

Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those
who serve.



In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and
sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in
front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and
studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the
waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on
the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice
cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress
came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,
were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had
to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.


In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a
roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if
anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the
king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by
and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the
King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
anything about getting the stone out of the way.





Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the
peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the
stone to the side of the road. After much pushing
and straining, he finally succeeded. After the
peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
a purse lying in the road where the boulder had
been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
from the King indicating that the gold was for the
person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The
peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve
our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...


Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a
hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who
was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only
chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the
illness. The doctor explained the situation to her
little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a
deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will
save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in
bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did,
seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his
face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
sister all of his blood in order to save her.


Now you have 2 choices.

1. Delete this email, or

2. Forward it to people you cares about.
I hope that you will choose No. 2 and remember.


Most importantly.................. "Work like you
don't need the money, love like you've never been
hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

NOW more than ever -...Pass It On.....

Amazing Story ...Must Read..........

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.

Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate. When the care-taker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the coffin. The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it.

The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died. She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She got up and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast. She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom. The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud. Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free! She was free! Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her.

To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead caretaker.

Many people believe they have life all figured out..... But sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it.

Think of a 'Plan B’ !!

Do u have one ?